Eye of the Calm
by SanctumAsylum
Summary: A storm is brewing underneath the calm surface. Paine's inner struggles surmount any trial the Gullwings have faced before. Can she find comfort…in the most unlikely of places? Rated M for kissing content and swearing just to be safe/no adult theme .
1. The Calm Before

A/N: I'm the least depressing person anyone has ever faced on the planet E-Arth. So I will fess up now, angst is not my division and while I don't think Paine is angst, angst angst like some people portray her, I do believe she has some deep issues she struggles with and often alone. My goal was to bring her inner turmoil in to play, but keep it away from her surface demeanor. She's amazingly strong and I believe would bounce back in no time, I just wanted to show that inside: the scars are still there, but with a positive outlook: life can reward a better outcome.

I do hope you enjoy, as always, I ask as politely as I can: READ AND REVIEW BEETCHES! RAWR! ;D

Disclaimer: *SIGH* Can I just say ditto? Ditto. Everyone knows I own absolutely nothing besides fanfics anyway…except my adorable fluff-muffin ARTEMIS! Luff you kitteh-kooty! (-Don't understand? My profile says I'm obsessed. Check. It. Out.)

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Caribbean blue seas melted seamlessly into azure skies; the only definition between one another was but a small, white crest of ocean waves as they breached shore and touched dry sand.

Calming, fruitless and eternal.

She shivered.

The sudden fear was starting to bubble again in her stomach. Like a massive volcano lying in wait, her once idle emotions were threatening to explode and dissolve.

Suddenly, she shut her eyes. She didn't want to see anything. Seeing was no longer real to her. Too many things happened that one could see, but never really register. The sense of sight was all but a lie. For once, Paine needed to feel; the damp sand between her toes, molding smoothly in her hand, the waves breaking at her feet only to once again recede giving the constant promise that it would soon return; a promise never broken. To feel the sun pleasantly warming her pale skin, the crisp breeze from the ocean discouraging sweaty foreheads and sweaty palms.

Her brow creased.

Yes, everything is just so dandy.

Far off in the distance she could hear the laughter of her comrades wavering listlessly on the shorelines. That would soon end for her.

A comrade was a term of the past. As she had always done, Paine would start life anew. She had no reason to hold on to fleeting memories. YRP had officially ended. And with it ended a friendship she never even knew she had, never even knew she wanted. But to cling to it would be childish.

It was customary; to push them away.

Push them out of her life before they could push her out of theirs. It was simple logic that avoided meaningless heartache. But how would she go about it? Just walk off the sandy shores, fade in to the distance and never reappear? What about after that? When it all was said and done, where would she go? Where would she live? _How _would she live?

Paine grunted, squeezing her left breast. The throbbing was sharper than she last remembered when such a parting had crossed her life once before. It was easier then. Her heart eventually grew cold, numbing the ache that shot like lightning inside. But now those she joined and the journey she took melted the layer of ice encasing her barely beating heart, creating a new problem. Not only did the stab from before start again, but a new pain arose intensifying the last.

"Damn it." She ground through clenched teeth, her already rigid fingers tightening their grip around her chest.

"You okay?" the voice cut through the air like a knife, driving its tip through the confusion and straight in to her skin.

Paine reeled back, in taking a sharp breath before effectively silencing herself, forcing her hands to the sand and constricting that instead. "Fine."

A grin replaced the concern on the Al-bhed's face as he dropped densely on to the ground next to her. "Well, maybe you are, but I heard your boob screaming bloody murder from…" he extended a thumb back at the lively group "…way over there. I hope this isn't what they consider foul play."

"Just murder is all." She murmured.

He laughed and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "You slay me, Dr.P."

"Then that'd make two of us."

His body was warm, warmer than the sun that was secretly burning her skin. She looked to his hand on her shoulder, afraid to look _at_ _him_, feeling rather than seeing the heat that radiated from his chest speaking of his discarded garment. His skin, a liveliness of reds yellows and browns, contrasted so visibly against hers; which happened to hold all the excitement of a white canvas.

He was tan, muscular. She was pale, thin.

In a group of girls, she was the toned, strong one. Both Yuna and Rikku were generally much smaller than she was; in build and size. It hadn't occurred to her how emaciated her frame truly was. At least, until now.

"Come on! Let's jump in the water!" he proposed suddenly, gripping her hand as a child would their mother, eagerly pulling her towards the waves.

Paine squinted against the falling sun, blocking the rays with her free hand. "I think not."

"Don't be such a crab! Ha! Beach humor!"

Wasn't he just full of himself?

Needless to say, Paine spotted a crab in her peripheral vision a few good inches away, tucked in one of its sand cubbies, peaking every now and then to watch the scene unfold.

Great, she rolled her eyes, we've turned in to a sitcom for crustaceans.

"Let go of my hand." She demanded, tugging her limb for emphasis.

"Who put sand in _your_ pants! Ha! More beach humor!"

Her eyes focused on the hand firmly, but gently holding her wrist, blazing at the sight of a challenge. She wasn't going to lose this. Although, technically, there was nothing to win or lose, Paine felt her pride take hold and demand a victorious position.

She was determined to win, high stakes or not.

Gippal on the other hand, was generally having a blast. He was on the beach, with Paine no less, tugging her hand and pulling her towards the ocean. Life couldn't get much better than this. Not when you had a machina faction that needed tending to. It was nice to get a break every once in a while. And this was definitely a break he could learn to appreciate.

Because he was on the beach. With Paine.

Yeah. That has a nice ring to it.

With Paine.

Before realizing he had already pulled her in to the water, his hand slipped. Having become very slick with ocean water gushing all over it, the hand grasping Paine's very own hand, released her as she was on her final given tug, consigning her, not-so-very-neatly, to the wet, sand-hardened ocean floor.

She landed with a scrape and splash in to ankle deep waters, Gippal falling clumsily on top of her as he reached out to break her fall, or at least catch her before she hit ground. Although, whichever one he intended didn't quite matter. Both failed, nonetheless.

Red eyes watched emotionlessly as Gippal's face ranged from genuine surprise to, the less amusing, feigned planning. Both of his massive arms were on each of her opposite sides, caging her in the given area as water swished against her body mirthlessly.

His eye, she noted, was like the sea. Calming in its color, fruitless in its meaning, eternal in its swirl.

Why? Why was he a constant reminder of what she feared most?

After the extended period of silence, Paine finally noticed the descent of Gippal's head to her lips with a raised brow. Quaint, but not enough for his sake; her hand caressed his cheek…and pushed it in to the waters next to her.

"What was that for!" he cried, wiping water from his face.

"Payback." She answered simply, offering a hand to help him up.

Really, he should have seen that coming. It was a typical answer from a woman like her. Woman, he thought briefly. That's definitely what she is, alright.

Unwittingly Gippal's gaze drifted up, following the distinct line of long legs, the sway that was her thin, yet toned abdominal, and the curves that was her femininity. At first, she was just…one of the guys. And what could be better than that? There were no awkward moments or general distinctions between genders. Well, maybe a few awkward moments, but only because of personality mixing. But after the split, something inside all of them had changed.

Could a few years really make a person seem so different when they looked and acted the exact same? For Paine, he supposed so. Gippal glanced at her face, full of bewilderment at his stare, angry at the lack of a response or courtesy to at least verbally refuse the hand extended for accessible help.

Had reality sharpened the gaze in those enigmatic eyes? Or did an abrupt departure leave her angry? Seething beneath the surface of a cold exterior that didn't seem to melt against the hottest of fires?

Did Paine develop from pain?

"Tfft." The woman scoffed, her hand receding back to her side. "Obviously, you don't need any help of mine."

"Sure I do." He grinned, cheekily, her voice bringing him back to life. "I need help with lots of things just like everybody else does."

"Like what?" she rolled her eyes. Safe to say Paine didn't believe him for one second. Probably wouldn't believe Nooj or Barralai either if they quoted his words.

"Well, with lying for one." He laughed, remembering their reunion as clear as day. Paine had that effect on him to make him want to blurt out her name in utter surprise. Too bad she hadn't let him. One moment more and he would have given away their past, present and…did they even _have_ a future? Nonetheless his blabber mouth would've escaped him only to relentlessly assault her, plague her and steal her artificial flavoring.

"Want another?"

She shifted on to her left leg, speaking of her tiring of this scene already. But Paine was known for the occasional surprise. "As much as I want Vegnagun back." Ha. Or not.

"I also need help with…" Gippal stroked his chin, still sitting in the ankle deep water as if he were on dry land. "…girls."

Her brow lifted. She didn't laugh, didn't flinch. The only thing that moved was her brow.

So he continued. "And I need help with…"

"Whose leg are you trying to pull?"

"Say what?"

Paine growled, switching legs again before running her fingers deftly through her hair. "You need help with _girls?_"

Gippal smiled "Sure do. Does that bother you?"

"It wouldn't if it were a true statement."

She's calling me a liar? Oh. No. She. Didn't. "I'm serious!" his palms turned up, speaking of his disagreement.

Paine shook her head and started back to the dry shore. He acts so natural with everything how could he possibly need help? She crossed her arms angrily. The idea was ludicrous. Gippal acted as if the sun rose and set with the word 'relaxation'. His only terms of worry was if he remembered to wipe his ass after using the restroom. And she was willing to bet that even that had been forsaken to the realm of relaxation.

Pleasant thought…

"Paine!" He shot up, running after her in his soaked state, water splashing around his feet, making him run slower; a seeming effort to keep him away from Paine. Even the damn ocean doesn't want me near her!

"What?" She all but spat out, turning to face him with a look that bordered on the lines of how one might feel regarding a small, immature child.

"Damn, you're hasty."

"Is that all?"

He stopped. "No. I came to defend my title!"

"What title? The one that states you're a 'flirt'? Or the one you've seemed to make up on your own?"

"…Both?"

"Tch."

"Hold on there." Gippal grabbed her arm before she could start marching away from him for the…second, was it, time. He couldn't let her go back to the group; he couldn't let this moment slip by. Gippal's time schedule was all over the place and right now, he _had_ time, but he wasn't sure of how long that would last and he needed some kind of guarantee. A guarantee that he was in the right place; a guarantee only Paine could give him.

Paine grunted, almost breaking in to a whine before she cut it off and faced him.

"So, maybe I'm not so bad with girls…" he sighed "But I'm really no good when it comes to women."

Oh how he wish he could've laughed without the very real threat of getting socked in the mouth. Paine's face was priceless.

Bless Yevon shining upon him, he continued without missing a beat. "Because, here I am, standing with the most…_amazing_…woman I've ever met…yet I can't even think of a single right word to say."

Priceless emotion left the building at the end of that sentence.

In fact all emotion left the building. There were no hints of surprise, satisfaction, unease or even disgust in the lines that made up Paine. Red eyes went blank and in their reflection he saw a bleak reality that was their future.

So…we have nothing, he thought a bit solemnly, biting back the regret and pushing pride to the front.

"And that settles this discussion." He laughed, but the sour tone broke through "See? I told you I need help."

And with that said, Gippal's head hanging low, he swashed pass the ocean water, back to dry land and to the bonfire that was beginning to light up the sky fading into night. While Paine, on the other hand, still stood there frozen solid, like a rock.

When she finally moved, she gazed bleakly at the fire and ashes rising in to the beyond before crumpling to the sand, ocean water growing colder, tickling her legs as it pushed and pulled.

She scoffed. And he thinks _he's_ bad with the opposite sex, what a joke. Paine felt so pathetic that she couldn't even muster a word to begin. What was she supposed to say? How did she start? More importantly, how did she _feel?_

Paine hugged her knees and shivered.

As much as I want to, I can't just leave things like this, she sighed, trudging her way up the beach.

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A/N: Not interested in traffic, REVIEW or...or...I won't post chaptah two! Mwa ha ;] (not a big deal if ya don't like it, right? xD)


	2. The Storm

A/N: Despite no reviewers on the first part, I have successfully finished, corrected, read and re-read the second part to Eye of the Calm. It doesn't look like too many fanfictionists put up FFX-2 fics to begin with so...I feel...lonely. So lonely. But there are a few out there and I'm giving a shout out to all yous awesome peoples. I hope you're reading this and ENJOYING it. This is a shorty; little quicky before the last chap-E-ter. Again, I ask for REVIEWS, though I doubt the apppearance of them xD.

Disclaimer: Ditto.

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There was laughter. Lots of laughter. And booze. Lots of booze. She hadn't expected any less coming from this lively group; especially now that Yuna was celebrating her aficionado Tidus being…well…alive.

Paine had made it back to the bonfire just as the sun completed its descent beneath the ocean, allowing her to look up and gaze at a sky pregnant with stars. But tonight she wasn't particularly interested in them. No, her thoughts were elsewhere. And someone without a mind clouded by booze, had enough sense to see that.

"Looking for Gippal?" the voice was deep, but soft and quiet; a contrast amongst the loud, much more annoying ones.

Paine wanted to be angry with him, but it wasn't the same. He was just too…Nooj. "I don't know what I'm looking for."

He tapped his cane to the open spot next to him; though it would've been appropriate to tap anywhere. All the spots were sand, all were the same and all were open. She repressed a snort and sat down next to him; if not out of desire, then out of respect.

"Perhaps that's a good thing."

She raised a brow. "Not knowing what I'm looking for?"

"Not looking for Gippal. He drank himself to sleep in one of those tents they set up."

The corner of her mouth upturned thinking of Gippal's mouth open and drooling, a crooked smile on his face as he lay sprawled out.

"He drank himself stupid because of you."

The equivalent of what Paine could call a smile faded. "Thanks for stroking my ego. Remind me to leave before my head starts to swell."

"I'm being serious, Paine."

"And I've been nothing _but_ serious." She scowled. "Why are you giving me a lecture, anyway?"

He blinked "Have I lectured you?"

"You're going to."

Nooj threw up his hands and leaned back. "If that's what you think."

Paine paused, fisting her hands as she watched him in his leisure. But the longer she watched, the less angry she became. How could one flare at a man who seemed to relax to the point of melting? Then again, she did get angry at Gippal for that same reason…odd. "You look so damn relaxed…"

"Do I not deserve to be?" he somewhat chuckled.

"That's not it." She reasoned. "When _he_ relaxes…it…_annoys _me."

"Ah. So then, why are you not mad at me?"

That's what I'm trying to figure out.

She didn't feel this way towards Nooj _or_ Barralai. Sure, she still held a bit of resentment when either seemed genuinely peaceful, but didn't they deserve to be? And even if she did feel a slight twinge of jealousy nothing compared to the anger that flared when she took one look at Gippal. It was as if she _expected_ something from him; which was odd, because Paine thought _less_ of _everyone_ and expected _nothing _out of _anyone_. This would be a situation comparative to…a couple.

She blanched. No, that's not right. It couldn't be. Paine didn't possibly…

"Paine, you love him."

"No." she said quickly, vehemently denying the statement that she just thought in her own mind.

"Paine…"

"Shut up, Nooj."

He laughed "You're in denial."

"Says you."

Nooj sat up, interested in watching her fret. The red eyes that were darting from here to there, the hands constricting the sand quicker and quicker, the bottom lip unconsciously getting bitten…it was quite amusing on Paine. Anxious was not a color she often wore. "And how does that work?"

"I don't know, just shut up."

"You should tell him."

She scoffed. "Yeah, I'll get right on that."

Nooj smirked.

Paine blinked.

"Fuck." She cursed low as a quiet rumbling laughter came from Nooj's direction. For getting her to admit the possibility of harboring, dare she say it:_ feelings_, she'd have to repay him with something as equally evil. Maybe she'd steal his cane. Hide it someplace he'd never look…or never go. Yeah, that was a low and dirty trick like he just pulled. Hide the old man's cane.

"Right now, you should just apologize."

"For what? Being honest?"

Yawning, Nooj stood, dusting off just enough sand to get by. "..for taking your anger out on him. If you're not willing to tell him, at least justify the way you're treating him."

And with that, he walked away. Or rather…hobbled.

Paine sighed, staring in to the fire. She wished it was as simple as Nooj made it seem. Dare to be open, to be honest. Hadn't she always been honest in the first place? If she knew her answer, she'd give it to him, but how do you give an answer when you don't know one yourself? More importantly, how do you apologize for something…that felt justified?

Suddenly the fire flared in to the sky as Rikku tossed in a branch on a spin, laughing and giggling. But not before being signature Rikku and waving at Paine, motioning her to join. Paine simply raised her hand and shook her head, signaling her intent. Ranting boisterously, of which Paine was glad she was too far away to hear, the spunky Al-bhed ran to her cousin, twirling her in her attempt to keep from falling. Yuna only laughed and helped the twirling continue.

Paine smiled slightly as she watched the two women dance in the distance.

They were…strange, in their own right. Dancing to no music at all, as if the world no longer needed music to subsequent a dance layered in fervor and vitality. And for a moment she envied them, wishing she could dance so boldly, so freely; without worries of the world on delicate shoulders.

The boy named Tidus joined in the diversion and had all three of them laughing at unfiltered friendship.

Paine's eyes widened.

There was her problem, right there, on a silver platter.

Paine had built walls so thick, not even she could figure out how she felt towards anyone. Her body and mind were so used to closing off people that she hadn't even realized that's exactly what she was doing. She was the only one filtered in an unfiltered friendship. If anyone was making the mistakes, it was her.

Perhaps if she could start one thing right…others would follow suit.

Paine rose from the sand, not bothering to wipe it off as she walked towards the trio dancing under the starlit sky.

One action can start a chain reaction.

So maybe…_just maybe_…tomorrow would be slightly better than today.


	3. The Aftermath

AN: Yay! On to the dessert of this meal which is the BEST course and the last segment! It is baked in love with a rich, creamy fluff sauce and sprinkled with kisses to accent the beautiful taste that is the end. Ah, being a waiter does things to you. SO...Read, Review, Enjoy and never fall asleep in front of your friend with a sharpie. It never turns out good.

Disclaimer: Ditto

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She rubbed the sleep from her eyes as she sharply went to sit up. But the very real weight on top of her would not allow it.

Paine opened her eyes and focused on the refreshing form of Rikku as she lay snuggled against her abdomen. She almost laughed at the picture until she caught sight of the puddle forming on her bare stomach. Realizing it was high-time to put the girl aside, Paine grabbed a nearby blanket, wrapped it up and placed it gingerly under the girl's head.

She stood up, careful to step away from the sleeping lumps of her friends before daring to stretch. It wasn't that she had gotten drunk, but Paine didn't want to take any chances of falling on top of them and waking them up. She could just imagine the ear-bleeding scream that would emit from Rikku. And as selfish as Paine could be, she figured _no one_ wanted to hear that.

Tenderly, Paine lifted her arms above her head before bending backwards and side to side. Kinks in her back were a daily ritual when she went to stretch, but she faintly noticed they weren't as bad today as they normally were. Not that she had much time to sort it out when her attention diverged to a lone figure sitting on the shores against the ocean.

With a curious huff, she headed towards the figure, shadowed from the illumination of light that was only beginning to reach the horizon.

"No hangover?" she questioned lightly.

Gippal turned, grinned half-heartedly and faced the ocean once again. "Guess I'm just lucky like that, huh?"

He looked worse for wear. But she had seen him on far less pretty-days, so she could say this was a mild case. In fact, she thought it strange that he seemed…okay, at least. Must be the effects of alcohol, she thought as she glanced around his profile.

Or not.

Deep bags under his eyes spoke of his disposition. No, she didn't imagine it felt wonderful to get your ass shot down by the person you…love? Is that it? Does he love her? Is it just fondness, perhaps?

Her lips pursed. "I think karma helped balance your odds."

"Hm…How so?"

Paine shifted and sat next to Gippal, visibly relaxing as she drank in the view. "You have shit-for-friends. Or more accurately _a_ shit-for-friend."

Gippal paused, a thoughtful frown forming on his face before a smile started to curve on one corner of his mouth. "Are you trying to apologize, Dr. P?"

"Something like that."

The Al-bhed laughed, hooking a friendly arm around his long-time companion. "For what it's worth…you're forgiven."

An inaudible sigh escaped the hard-shelled woman as her face was pressed against the Al-bhed's sleep-warmed skin. Suddenly, she knew just where she wanted to be and calm no longer seemed like such a bad thing. But Paine would never make life that easy on herself; as life would always have some obstacles to throw her way. And she was pretty sure with Gippal that would only double her chances.

"I'm…not prone to making promises…" She mumbled, peace seeming to wash over her like a gentle wave "But if you have an extra room, perhaps I'll take up on the offer."

For a minute Gippal just stared at the woman resting against his chest.

And in that moment he didn't think he could find any other reason to love her more. If he had to wait a lifetime for her reciprocations…maybe…just maybe he would be okay with that. He didn't_ want_ to wait forever, but at that point, he felt he could. Still, delusions were delusions and better left for dreaming.

The sad and unforgiving truth was he _couldn't_ wait forever. With so much love to give, he could only hold out so long to give it, but Paine was the type of woman that made him want to wait. So he resolved that living with her wasn't such a bad idea after all.

But maybe he could try speeding up those feelings he knew she had for him, even if she didn't see it for herself.

"Hm. I don't know if I do…might've given the last rooms up without even thinking about it."

Noticeably her demeanor dropped. The peace that crept in suddenly wasn't so peaceful anymore.

What was she expecting? Well, quite frankly a 'yes'. But still, she should have known that on such short notice, there might not be anyone who could help her along. Paine needed to keep herself going on her own resources.

She should've known; shouldn't have hoped. After all, that was the logical answer. She just allowed herself too much freedom at one given time.

"Ah." She managed, but the rest of the words she was about to call upon failed her; lodged in her throat like food that went down the wrong pipe. But the Heimlich couldn't help remove this baby. It was a papa rock, wedged in there deep.

"Are you okay?"

Paine nodded only because she couldn't produce anything else. She wanted to say 'Of course I am. I expected that.', but she didn't and she couldn't.

Strong fingers grasped her chin and tugged. Soon she was face to face and lip to lip with the sneaky Al-bhed. Before swift reactions, quick thinking or even the alphabet could be sung, Gippal had her in a lip-lock, loading all of how he felt about her in to that one kiss. It was soft and delicate at first. Just a teasing taste of what he wanted her to feel. Just a lingering promise of what he meant to say the other day; that of which words could not pronounce.

She was shocked at the proposal, the sudden spring of something blossoming within her bosom. But for once, Paine ignored it and allowed the swell of heat to propel her actions forward.

Her lips bit back on to his and he immediately reciprocated by deepening the kiss; stroking hard only to feel the buoyancy in her tender skin. His tongue dove into her mouth on a whim, slipping in and out before her teeth snapped shut in rebellion. Tongue, teeth and lips speaking magnitudes of his desire.

"You're a fucking liar." She moaned in to his mouth, nipping his bottom lip before she pulled back to look at him; that signature grin plastered on his face; his one eye dazzling about that 'no room' bullshit.

"Just stretching the truth, babe." He leaned in to resume kissing when she tossed her head back, her hand on his face as she shoved him in to the sand.

"I wonder if Nooj has an open room."

"Paine!" he sputtered, spitting out sand and taking off in a sprint after her as she marched up the beach; looking for an excuse to rile him up.

Unenthusiastically she glanced back to watch him struggle when the view caught her eye.

The sun was peeking serenely over the horizon.

Caribbean blue seas melted seamlessly into the orange birth of morning skies; the only definition between one another was but a small, white crest of ocean waves as they breached shore and touched dry sand.

Calming, fruitless and eternal.

She smiled.


End file.
